Ping Pong

The ping pong table is one of mankind's great achievements. A hardboard surface divided by a net is a simple concept, and yet the game that was spawned is so perplexing. Skilled players can impart spin to the ball, forcing their opponents into errors through unpredictable bounce and racquet reaction. Growler, the gangly, malnourished ping pong mentor who became my arch-rival, devoted a year of his life in China to learning the finer points of the game. Upon his return he told majestic stories of Chinese masters so old and so frail, they did not even possess the strength to lean over and retrieve the celluloid ball. But with age comes experience and attuned senses, both important traits in this great game. The Chinese masters defeated all in their sight, including the ambitious and mildly talented young man I call my mentor. And so Growler returned home, encouraging all to buy tables in the hope that one day, we would all take up ping pong and defeat the Chinese.

On another note, I stumbled upon this fantastic artwork below created by the crafty Frenchman Laurent Perbos.

Birds

It's eluded me for the past three years: Poney Part 1 by Frenchman and electro musician Vitalic! This is the most captivating music video since Aphex Twin's Windowlicker. At the same time, it has left me mystified and scratching my head in confusion. The track is infectious and the images astounding. I think I might be going insane.

Poney Part 1 (Birds)

Vitalic

Directed by Pleix

2005

Chocolate Dogs

So, Easter is approaching. The chocolate eggs get smaller and the prices higher. I'm not sure how these companies get away with it, so I'd like to see the government regulate the cost to quantity ratio where easter chocolate is concerned. It's no big deal. On another note, don't feed the chocolate to your pets. At least not dogs; I'm not sure what studies have been conducted towards cats, birds, fish or other home-stay creatures.

Dogs and humans are different in a lot of ways. For example, dogs can run about the snow all day on their bare feet and it doesn’t cause them any harm. On the flip side, humans can only run in the snow for thirty seconds or so before their feet begin to freeze. Dogs can also walk comfortably on all fours, whereas humans become strained after a short while. There are plenty of differences like these between dogs and humans. Chocolate tolerance is just another.

Dogs are really out of luck here, because it's obvious that they genuinely enjoy the taste of chocolate. It turns out that, for dogs, a chemical in chocolate called theobromine is the source of the problem. The chemical is similar to caffeine in that if too much is ingested, it becomes toxic. Different types of chocolate contain different amounts of theobromine: it would take 20 ounces of milk chocolate to kill a 20 pound dog, but only 2 ounces of baker’s chocolate or 6 ounces of semisweet chocolate.

Dogs are probably thinking to themselves: "Still, what's two ounces of baker's chocolate when we've got this to contend with!" Eeek -- Click here

Inner Space

While I've just mentioned the soundtrack to Ron & Val Taylor's Inner Space, I thought I might post a trailer to the series that was broadcast in the early seventies and has never been released on VHS or DVD since. Ron and Valerie are prominent Australian shark and underwater experts who even lent their expertise to Steven Spielberg and his film Jaws back in 1975. Thanks to the people at Votary Records for the clip.

Slipped Discs

Recently, I read an article in Wish Magazine about the reissues of out-of-print recordings by independent labels. The piece was titled Slipped Discs and it's one of the more interesting things I've stumbled upon. Here's an excerpt:

"It's a phenomenon that has emerged predominantly in the underground music industry. While major record labels sit idle on vast libraries of out-of-print recordings, oblivious to the music's value and unconvinced of its profitability, record collectors have been setting up their own independent labels and hunting down the rights to lost classics, determined to introduce them to a new generation of listeners, whether it makes them money or not."

One such lost classic is the soundtrack to Ron & Val Taylor's Inner Space, composed and conducted by Sven Libaek. I've been after this album for some time after learning that five of Libaek's compositions featured in Wes Anderson's The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Votary Records reissued this particular print and it's just awesome. The fact that this soundtrack has been so hard to find and near impossible to obtain until now makes the music all the more fulfilling. Below, I've included links to the labels mentioned in the article in the hope that you might browse their catalogues and find a treasure of your own:

http://www.tompkinssq.com/
http://www.time-lagrecords.com/
http://www.runtdistribution.com/water.html
http://www.cvibes.com/
http://www.instinctivetravels.com/basementdigs/
http://www.myspace.com/theomnirecordingcorporation

Gorilla Sex

About a month ago now, news broke that two lowland gorillas in Africa had been observed by scientists (or perverts as some have suggested) engaging in the missionary sex position. The behaviour had been recognised before in mountain gorillas, but never the lowland subspecies which makes this photograph particularly groundbreaking.

Friday Afternoons

Ever since I was a kid, Friday afternoon's have been my favourite time of the week. Back then, it was the end of the school week. Now, it's the end of the work week. But this prelude to the weekend just gets better and better. If you're lacking the motivation to party after another long week in the galleys, subscribe to my Friday afternoon recipe: 

1. Pistachio nuts

2. Cold beer

3. Any Rolling Stones album (I'd also throw in Tommy by The Who)

Number three should be played so freaking loud that your neighbour has every right to complain. The music will force you to dance like the great man (Jagger) and worse. I like to follow a specific cycle. I'll eat a handful of pistachios before moving onto the beer, all the while sitting on the kitchen stool. Before my body can sit still no longer, I'll leave the beer and nuts and run around the house, into the courtyard, out to the backyard and finish next to the stereo, jumping and jiving, dancing and twirling and playing every instrument ever created (including wobble board) along the way. It's Jagger meets [Billy] Elliott meets Townshend meets Elton John in a duck suit. Wow-wee!

Good Morning Pluto

Insight's newest surf campaign is amazing! It was officially launched on February 28th and features the wondrous photography of Dustin Humphrey and creative vision of Steve Garrow. I've posted a few of the posters below. Follow the link to the website where you can check out the just-as-awesome skate campaign and additional photos and trailers.

http://www.insight51.com/s/index.html

Slap!

Welcome to my blog. It's titled Blase Jase. For the first post, I've chosen my favourite comedy skit of all time. I hope it sets a tone for the future.